Je Ne Regrette Rien

"Non, Rien De Rien, Non, Je Ne Regrette Rien
Ni Le Bien Qu`on M`a Fait, Ni Le Mal
Tout Ca M`est Bien Egal
Non, Rien De Rien, Non, Je Ne Regrette Rien
C`est Paye, Balaye, Oublie, Je Me Fous Du Passe"



It's April and I am now a master of television programs. My days were filled with checking the morning papers for job posting, the online job posting, the job websites and everything else on the net that relates to job hiring. Now that I desperately want my phone to ring, nobody's calling.

I can't be depressed, I told myself. This would be the last thing that's gonna happen to me. I have conquered all odds before, I would certainly be able to come out a winner now. I was deep in my thoughts when suddenly a very powerful yet lonely voice came on the tv, it's in French! I don't understand a thing but I know the song talks about life and the choices we've made. After hearing this song, Edith Piaf have become one of my favorite singers, she's just magnificent.

Je Ne Regrette Rien
(The English version)

No! Absolutely nothing...
No! I regret nothing
Neither the good that I've done nor the bad
All this is much the same to me!

No! Absolutely nothing...
No! I regret nothing...
It is paid, swept away, forgotten
I don't care about the past!

With my souvenirs
I lit a fire
My sorrows, my pleasures
I need them no more!

Swept away the love affairs
With their tremors
Swept away forever
I leave with nothing ...

No! Absolutely nothing...
No! I regret nothing
Neither the good that I've done nor the bad
All this is much the same to me!

No! Absolutely nothing...
No! I regret nothing...
Because my life, because my joys
Today that begins with you!

We all have our moments of despair, of wrong decisions, of wrong choices...but those moments are what shaped us what we are today... no regret, absolutely nothing to regret.....

The way we were

"As I looked back on those good old days, young and careless, thinking that we can conquer the world, such naivety. We all have changed, physically at least, but the memories of those moments are still fresh in my mind and will always be cherished."

August 1993, I started my new life and new career in Makati, a place where I spent the best 4 years of my life. I was born and raised in the gloomy village of Mintal, which is some 8 kilometers west of downtown Davao. I remember, the only time my parents will take us to the city center is when we have to buy school supplies once a year in Gaisano Bolton. I have never seen a movie in the cinema until I was in college. The only dream I have then was to build a bungalow house, yes I did make a small version, a child's dream. My folks thought I should be an architect, in my mind all I want is a nice house to live in, I don't even have a clue what an architect is.

My folks enrolled me in BS Education, but I can't see myself as a mentor, am too scattered brained. The next semester I shifted to BSC but still doesn't have a clue as to what I shall be doing after. I want to be a civil engineer at the University of the Philippines but in my young mind I know, it's not possible. My parents can't afford to send me to a local college how much more to a university in Manila. I hurdle each semester as a workscholar then on my 3rd year I was hired as a secretary for a BIR examiner. I was so happy to finally land a real job, although I don't have a real salary but my boss is benevolent enough to provide for my school fees and living expenses until I graduate. A month after receiving my diploma I was hired as a bookkeeper for a local company without informing my boss at the BIR. The free-spirited me can't wait to experience life.

A year after graduating, my sister Belen offered to send me to Manila for my CPA review. It was an opportunity I can't missed, living and working in the big city is what I've always dreamed of. I may really be gifted, I passed the CPA board exam in one take. Acquaintances and friends I have in Manila were amazed at how I did it since they seldom see me study, am always out on trips somewhere.

I started my career in Manila as a banker in one of the universal banks in Makati. Having come from the province, everything seemed surreal, I work in one of the biggest building in the center of Makati, a nice office, my officemates were from top universities and here I am, one of them. Since all of us were almost of the same age and I guess of the same hunger for excitement, we all love to waste our earnings shopping to the max, dining out and before we knew it, we have no more money left that can last us until the next salary. Out of town trips are our most favorite. I have one officemate who's grandma have a fish farm in Bulacan. The boat ride is one of the perks, but the best part is the freshly catch bangus (milkfish) fried crisply and his mom's oxtail kare kare, just the best. I never have a manic Monday, as I always look forward to seeing my second family after a Sunday hiatus, wait, did we ever take a break? We seemed to go on and on, weekdays are all work, work, work and weekend all fun, fun, fun. The carefree lifestyle didn't last long though, things changed, guess its the realization that we all have a future to look forward to, a future that will be laden with more responsibilities, scary but inevitable. Some left for a better opportunity, some have committed stupid mistakes but nevertheless didn't regret of the outcome but most got caught in the oldest institution of marriage.

For all of us, the cyle of life have just begun.